February 14 can hit differently when you’re single.
Hearts everywhere. Flowers. Dinners. Social media flooded with declarations of love. And if you’re honest, it can feel like the world is celebrating something you don’t have—or worse, reminding you that you don’t.
I remember those years well.
Back then, I told myself it was all comical. If someone posted something too romantic on social media, I’d quietly assume something must be wrong behind the scenes. That kind of cynicism is easy to wear when you’re tired of waiting. It’s a defense mechanism. If I downplayed it, it hurt less.
But here’s the truth I couldn’t see then and can say clearly now: I wasn’t wrong to feel that way—but I was incomplete in how I understood what God was doing.
Today, married to Kara, Valentine’s Day looks very different. It’s no longer a reminder of what I lack, but a moment of gratitude. And strangely enough, I’m thankful not just for the love I experience now—but for all the Valentine’s Days I spent alone.
The quiet dinners.
The empty seat across the table.
The nights when everyone else seemed paired off and moving forward while I stayed still.
Those moments didn’t disqualify me from God’s goodness. They prepared me to recognize it.
What Singleness Taught Me That Marriage Couldn’t
When you’re single long enough, you learn something uncomfortable: you can’t rush God without bruising yourself.
I didn’t enjoy hearing that. I wanted resolution, not formation. But looking back, I can see how those seasons shaped my faith, stripped away illusions, and forced me to wrestle with God directly—without distractions.
Marriage is a blessing. But it is not a substitute for wholeness.
And singleness, while hard, is not a punishment.
Psalm 23 became real to me in those years—not as poetry, but as survival.
TikTok sensation Torchy Swinson once broke it down this way, and it reframed how I understood both waiting and fulfillment:
“The Lord is my shepherd” — That’s relationship
“I shall not want” — That’s supply
Before God ever adds anything to your life, He establishes who He is to you. Shepherd first. Provider second. Not the other way around.
“He makes me lie down in green pastures” — That’s rest
“He leads me beside still waters” — That’s refreshment
Rest isn’t passive. Sometimes God makes us stop because forward motion would only deepen the wound.
“He restores my soul” — That’s healing
“He leads me in paths of righteousness” — That’s guidance
“For His name’s sake” — That’s purpose
Notice the order: healing before direction. God doesn’t rush you into the next chapter until the current one has done its work.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” — That’s testing
“I will fear no evil” — That’s protection
“For You are with me” — That’s faithfulness
Singleness can feel like a valley. But valleys are not abandonment zones—they’re proving grounds.
“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me” — That’s discipline
God’s correction isn’t rejection. It’s evidence that He’s invested.
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies” — That’s hope
“You anoint my head with oil” — That’s consecration
“My cup overflows” — That’s abundance
Abundance doesn’t start when someone else arrives. It starts when you recognize how full your life already is under God’s care.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life” — That’s blessing
“And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord” — That’s security
“Forever” — That’s eternity
It’s not what we have—but who we belong to.
Why I’m Thankful for Valentine’s Days Spent Alone
Here’s something I can say now without hesitation: if I hadn’t known loneliness, I wouldn’t recognize gratitude.
If I hadn’t waited, I wouldn’t value.
If I hadn’t wrestled with God alone, I wouldn’t trust Him fully now.
Singleness stripped away the illusion that fulfillment comes from someone else. It taught me that choosing the Lord first isn’t a consolation prize—it’s the foundation.
Jesus said it plainly:
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Not replaced. Added.
Marriage didn’t erase my past seasons—it gave them meaning.
If You’re Single This Valentine’s Day
Let me say this clearly, especially if February 14 feels heavy:
You are not behind, forgotten, or missing out on God’s best.
You are being shaped.
And one day—whether married or not—you may look back and realize that the very moments you wanted to escape were the ones that made gratitude possible.
God is not withholding from you. He is working in you. And when the time is right—according to His wisdom, not cultural pressure—He adds what fits.
Until then, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about what you lack.
It can be about who has walked with you every step of the way.
And that is worth celebrating.
