I was scrolling through one of the streaming services recently when I came across a documentary preview. As the trailer began to play, a quote grabbed my attention: “Remember when is the lowest form of conversation.” The quote came from a fictional character on an old TV show. While it was meant to be a bit cynical, it made me stop and think.
Is “remember when” always a bad thing, or can it sometimes be helpful? After some thought, I realized that the answer is both. There are times when remembering is good, but there are also times when it can hold us back.
Why Remembering Matters
When my girls were growing up, we often discussed the fun times we shared. We’d remember who was involved, what we did, and what we loved about those moments. Talking about the past can bring joy and help us feel connected to one another.
The Bible encourages us to remember, too. We’re told to remember God’s faithfulness, His Word, and the sacrifice of Jesus. These memories build our faith and help us stay strong. Here are some examples of what the Bible asks us to remember:
- God’s miracles: “Remember the wonders He has done, His miracles, and the judgments He pronounced.” (1 Chronicles 16:12, NIV)
- God’s Word: “Remember the law of my servant Moses, the decrees and laws I gave him at Horeb.” (Malachi 4:4, NIV)
- Jesus’ sacrifice: “Do this in remembrance of me.” (Luke 22:19, NIV)
For single Christians, remembering can be personal. Maybe you remember how God helped you through a tough time or a moment when you felt His presence. These memories remind us that God is always with us, even when life is uncertain.
When Remembering Holds Us Back
But sometimes, remembering can make it hard to move forward. It’s easy to get stuck in the past, especially if things didn’t turn out how we thought. This can be hard for anyone, but single Christians may feel it more deeply. Thoughts like “Remember when I thought I’d be married by now?” or “Remember when life felt easier?” can keep us feeling stuck.
The Bible tells us to forget certain things, like our past mistakes and regrets. Once we’ve asked for forgiveness, God wipes them away. As it says in Philippians: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV)
Holding on to past mistakes or disappointments can stop us from seeing the good things God has in store for us. God wants us to let go of what’s behind and look forward to what He has planned.
How to Find Balance
So, how do we balance remembering and forgetting? It’s all about being thoughtful. We should remember God’s goodness and promises but forget the things that weigh us down, like shame, regret, and fear. We can hold on to the memories that bring us joy but let go of the ones that keep us from moving forward.
The key is to invite God into both the remembering and the forgetting. When we ask Him for help, He can guide us in reflecting on the past with wisdom while also freeing us from the things that no longer serve us.
Next time you catch yourself saying “remember when,” ask yourself: Is this memory lifting me up, teaching me something, or making me thankful? Or is it keeping me stuck in the past? Either way, trust that God is with you—whether He’s asking you to remember or to let go.
