Resources for Single Christians

Happy Valentine’s Day – Why Are You Still Single?

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Happy Valentine’s Day single friends. If no one tells you today, you are loved and thought of each day by a God who has prepared eternity with you in mind. Don’t lose sight of that promise on a day where the reality of love is skewed by gestures that aren’t necessarily true. I know it can feel like no one listens or understands.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of listening. The last year my path has crossed with old friends and family I haven’t seen in years. The common question is “why are you still single.” I didn’t bother to ask them “why are they still married” as if marriage is the culmination of living. But as I discovered their lives, discontent rained.

Singleness for me has taken on a whole new level of contentment. During these conversations with those in my past, one thing remains, many are not content. Married, dating, or single. The insta-world portrays another picture. But when these individuals are alone and in a safe place, they seem to disclose their hearts cry for something more.

We have to choose to find joy and live in contentment.

Candidly, I have my moments. Like the time I went out on a date only to experience my first ghosting. Or, sitting alone on a Friday night wishing for something to do or someone that wants to participate in life. Or like today, Valentine Day, when we singles will see the blankets of flowers, couples kissing, and intentional praise of a signification other.

These moments are always a great opportunity for me to practice contentment. For us to receive anything of significance in this life, we must prepare to receive it. If you want contentment, then you must practice it. If you want a sound mind, you must choose sound thoughts. You want to have cut abs; you must eat right and workout.

The Promise

Before we talk about the choice, we must talk about the promise. Have you been given a promise? Here are a few I’ve heard lately: My little sister believes someday she will be married. Another the restoration of marriage. Another, that they will someday experience being a parent. I could go on and on about the promises I’ve heard.

Every promise made in the Bible is ours if we choose to take hold of it. Do you know that a promise sometimes outlasts the brevity of life?  Many have died never seeing the promise fulfilled as reading through the Old Testament we see that. The promise that speaks to me in the uncertain moments is that he will never leave me nor forsake me. But we must take hold of that promise to see contentment.

Contentment

As mentioned, there is a choice to live in contentment. Regardless of your status; single, married, divorced, etc. you can choose contentment and practice it every day. It is all based on what and where we put our trust, then how we reinforce that choice through our daily thoughts. When placed on the God of the universe, then we know, based on his word which is true, that he is with us in those lonely moments when no one else cares to hear the heart.

Can You Fix It?

I’m a problem solver by nature, and I want to fix it all right away. Design a three-step process and boom; everything is sunshine and rainbows. But the reality is if I can do it, then where is the trust. Or what if it is so big, live divorce, sickness, or death of someone close; what then?

God creates opportunity in our daily living that allows us to learn to trust him more. We sometimes think that if things aren’t going right, then we must be wrong, or God isn’t working.

The reality is that God works in the uncertain moments to show us we can trust him. It’s those times when “we don’t know” if it’s going to be alright that we learn to trust, learn to walk with more clarity.

The love for God is in learning to trust him through times of uncertainty. Trust puts in perspective the reality of doing life with others, whether in marriage, relationship or friendship.

Lamp Unto My Feet

A verse that sticks with me each day is “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” Psalm 119:105. We need Gods word to light our steps so that as we travel through tough times, we can see. It further explains that, as we are in it, it also lights our path as we are better able to navigate through the things ahead.

So first, we watch our steps using the word as our light. Some of us are doers, and we think if we can do enough, it will fix it. Ultimately some things are just not for us to do but to stand. Ephesians 6:13 puts it this way: “Wherefore take up the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and, having done all, to stand. (ESV)” We have to stand firm in God’s word. Have to stand firm on the promises that he has provided.

We must put on the full armor of God, then do what’s right in front of us. If we can choose contentment with the steps you need to take today, then we are better able to handle what God wants to do, to fulfill his promises tomorrow.

Where are you?

It’s days like today that we must choose to not focus on the unlit path. Are you trying to make a relationship happen? Are you on every dating website out there, looking for the one? Maybe it’s time to choose to be content with where you are and allow God to do it and light that path in his timing.

Contentment says to the heart “I don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but it’s your’s, Lord.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, my single friends.

 

 

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